Thursday, July 24, 2008

Lessons From Friends

I was born and raised in a village near Segre, France, only moved to Canada in 1988. So my early friendships were forged in France. In my little village my friends were almost entirely family, siblings and cousins and I learned much from them.

But my friends outside the family opened the world to me.

Michele Menard: We met as teenagers, working together in a Catholic Outreach for patients in assisted living facilities. I needed a friend and through Michelle I learned that if you get busy helping others the friends will come to you.

Cecile Rousseau: We were kindred spirits who spent much of our college years laughing about our respective situations. Cecile taught me how to have fun when you are a penniless student and the world is crashing down all around you.

My adult friends are built around children and career and mutual faith.

Eulah Ryan, is an 84 year old, pastor's wife from Trinidad in our community Bible Study, whose steadfast faith is an example to any ladies young and old. She put her knowledge of human nature and theology to work, uniting our whole community of Christians, from Catholic to Episcopal to Baptist to Pentecostal. I learned from Eulah how to emphasize what friends have in common instead of looking for the differences. And how to keep praying until the answer comes.

Lila Leib, my dear pastor’s wife, taught me the power of transparency. Lila shared her life with me without pretention and it led to an instant bond. Now, Lila’s parents were Swedish but Lila was born and raised in America and this transparency is a gift that Americans seem to have. Europeans often hide their lives. It is not uncommon for a European parent to live and die without telling their children that they love them. And Eastern Europeans consider transparency to be something more than bad taste, they see it as downright dangerous, even life threatening. Lila has helped me become more transparent and vulnerable and it has brought me richer relationships and experiences.

Lola Yoder taught me the value of emotional strength. Everyone depends on Lola, who is even tempered, always kind, and seems to balance work, family and her social life without a sense of panic. When there is a death in her circle of friends, Lola and her husband are right in the middle of the action, carrying the emotional burden as they anticipate what will be needed. Lola lives out her faith.

Kristy Donaldson taught me how to be loyal. When Doug experienced tough times, and everyone else could have dropped us, and we were too numb to act or think straight, Kristy and her husband Dave, jumped in to take charge. She had nothing to gain.

Treche Phipps has taught me the art of discretion. She is a dedicated registered nurse, a good one. And she is always on duty, steady, full of joy, keeping her patients calm, whether they are at the clinic or at a picnic at someone else’s home. Treche sees crisis at the hospital every week. So when she encounters it in her private life, she just laughs and goes to work, doing what can be done and not worrying about what can’t be done and entrusting everything to the lord. She never panics, always makes you feel included but is nevertheless discreet at the same time.

Melanie Kaminski, also a registered nurse, has taught me the joy of laughter. She turns my problems into moments of hilarity and gives me new perspective whenever we talk. When I encounter false stories about me or Doug or my friends on the internet I used to be outraged. Melanie has helped me to learn how to be amused. The Proverbs say, “Laughter does good like a medicine.”

Gayle Burns taught me the power of obeying God’s voice. She did herself and it has transformed a community.

Amy Staggs taught me the power of service as an act of love. She and her husband are “on call” to work with the youth of our church. In spite of demands from work and career and family, they find time to be leaders for others too.

Narla Breithaupt taught me that love is not just a feeling it is action. She took in a child that no one else could help. Not because she was lonely or needed more work to do but because it had to be done and no one else was going to do it.

Carrie Suneson showed me how to delight in young people outside my own family. While it is our tendencies as parents to focus and worry over our own children, Carrie is not only a great mom, she joyously embraces other young people around her, with the heart of a youth pastor, she is the field manager of our Edge Clubs, our student Christian group outreach to the public schools.

There are so many new lessons to life that I am learning and almost all of them are coming from others. As the weeks go by I will write about them.

Through my husband’s work I have had the privilege of meeting presidents and kings. “I just met your Prime Minister,” an American president once told me at a White House State Dinner, as if France were all mine. But the lessons I have learned from my daily friends are far more profound than any I have seen or read about in the lives of the great public figures of my day.

Laugh, love, be vulnerable to friends, stay calm, obey God’s voice, be ready to put your faith in action. What more could anyone do to find peace and happiness in this life?

3 comments:

thekingpin68 said...

She put her knowledge of human nature and theology to work, uniting our whole community of Christians, from Catholic to Episcopal to Baptist to Pentecostal. I learned from Eulah how to emphasize what friends have in common instead of looking for the differences. And how to keep praying until the answer comes.

Hello Myriam,

I found your blog through Doug's which I check on from time to time. My most recent article on one of my theology blogs is on religious labels, which may interest.

All the best with the blog. You may also find some relatable blogs in my links.

Russ from BC.

Matt Brown said...

What a wonderful blog! Thanks for sharing : )

msvo9 said...

Hello Mariam…

For years I wondered about you and Doug. I use to clean your family home in Scottsdale, Arizona. I was a single mother. Despite knowing my indiscretion, you always treated me with warmth, caring and dignity. You never looked down at me – but always eye to eye as your equal.

By knowing you in the “past”, there is no surprise in the “present”, to see you are still out there in life making a difference that will somehow affect someone in the “future”.

Best Wishes To You, Doug and Family.

Michelle “Mitch” Svoboda